The Official Dream Theater Webpage


Real Ultimate Power


Hi, this site is all about Dream Theater , REAL DREAM THEATER .  This site is awesome.    My name is Neil and I can't stop thinking about Dream Theater.  These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.




1.    Dream Theater are mammals.

2.    Dream Theater play solos ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of Dream Theater is to flip out and play three hour gigs.



Weapons and gear:



Totally Huge Drum Kit



Jordan Rudess Action Figure




Dream Theater can play anything!  Dream Theater play unison solos ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  I heard that a kid was eating at a diner.  And when he accidentally dropped a spoon Mike Portnoy told the entire town to eat his ass and balls.  My friend Steven said that he saw John Myung totally flip out and tackle James LaBrie just because someone paid him to do it.


And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


If you don't believe that Dream Theater have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will play some crazy solos!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  


Dream Theater are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact.  Dream Theater are fast, smooth, cool, strong, proggy, heavy, and musical.  I can't wait to start at Berklee next year.  I love Dream Theater with all of my body (including my pee pee).    




Q and A:



Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about Dream Theater?

A: Dream Theater are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they play metal, but on the other hand, they play prog. WTF?!11!!1


Q: I heard that Dream Theater just wank on their guitars all day.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other bands, Dream Theater can play slow OR totally awesome. 


Q: What do Dream Theater do when they're not playing solos or writing concept albums?

A: Most of their free time is spent doing side projects, but sometimes, well, it's just the side projects, actually. 


Here's a picture of John Myung.

He plays bass and has just decked James LaBrie,

which is bragable.




Neil-o-Mac has spoofed

and here's the site that lists all the other REAL ULTIMATE POWER sites: Real Ultimate Power Parody Directory

Oh, and this isn't really the official Dream Theater website.  That's at  If you thought this really was the Official Dream Theater website, you're clearly insane.

If you liked this, send me an email ( and tell me so. 
Copyright 2004.  Kthxbi.